Clocked: The Health Unconscious Decision

by Jessica Cole

I’m a peanut butter fanatic. Give me a plastic jar of Peter Pan chunky peanut butter and I will have a midnight snack for a week. Stemming from my love of the mouth-molding nuttiness of the peanut, it was only necessary that I take a stab at Athens, Georgia’s local diner Clocked and see what this peanut butter bacon hamburger was all about. Word-of-mouth reviews ranged from “delightful” to “disgusting” and walking into the almost empty diner at 11:30 a.m. I went in with no expectations except a yearning for something to fill this vacant, grumbling stomach.

The girl at the counter, a 20-something brunette with a nose ring, greeted me kindly and was extremely helpful. Wanting to completely divulge in the Clocked experience, I ordered the peanut butter bacon burger with the condiments on the side, a half-order of tater tots and sweet potato fries, and to top off this health unconscious meal, a watermelon sprite.

It’s difficult to mess up tater tots. If they have grease dripping off of them, or if you burn them then that’s a problem, but there’s not much room for creativity. With that in mind, Clocked’s tater tots were everything you’d expect: crispy and salty.

Something I’ve noticed as a trend in restaurants lately— sweet potatoes. Sweet potato fries, sweet potato chips, mashed sweet potatoes, I don’t remember these orange spuds being as popular as they are now. Whatever the reason for it, I’m not complaining. And the Clocked fries do this trendy food justice. They were fresh from the oven, just the right amount of crispy with a light seasoning of salt and pepper. I’ve always liked the accent of sweet and savory, and these fries have just the right amount of salt to bring out the potatoes’ subdued sweetness. And do me a favor and don’t dip them in ketchup. I tried this out and basically all you taste is your condiment. You’re better off just getting regular fries.

The main dish, the peanut butter burger is both simplistic genius and the healthI split the burger in half and lifted the hood. The peanut butter was of the smooth assortment and was melted and runny on top of the patty. I decided to try one side plain (bun, patty, bacon and peanut butter) and the other adorned with veggies and special sauce.

First half: I took the first bite of the plain half and really, all I tasted was peanut butter and bread. It was like biting into an oddly textured piece of toast. With every bite the peanut butter oozed out of the burger and stuck to the corners of my mouth.

I’d only eaten half of the first half of the burger and I already felt full. It was like I was in the pilot episode of Woman vs. Burger on the Food Network and I’m losing.

And taking a sip of that overly sweetened soda didn’t help. It made me feel a bit queasy, but I had to wash down that peanut butter somehow.

Second half: I put on all of the condiments and took a bite, and let me say, wow. I actually tasted a burger this time instead of toast and the taste of the peanut butter wasn’t nearly as overwhelming. The different flavors and textures all melded together was a pleasurable shock to my taste buds, especially bites that included peanut butter, patty and pickles.

I managed to finish the entire burger, but by that point, I was so full, all I wanted to do was take on the characteristics of my father after a big meal and sit back, unbutton my jeans and scratch my belly. Yes, I was fat, happy, and ready to bust.

And that’s the type of meal you get at Clocked: Extra filling, extra tasty, extra calories.

But the food is tasty and that’s all you need for a health unconscious meal.